


To Be Enough

by fandomgirl522



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Fluff, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, Jetko, M/M, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Rape/Non-con Elements, Zhao (Avatar) Is An Asshole, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27074335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomgirl522/pseuds/fandomgirl522
Summary: Zuko has mixed feelings on men from various experience throughout his life.He is eleven when he realizes the true nature of his father’s cruelty.He is fourteen when he has his first encounter with Captain Zhao post-Agni Kai.He is sixteen when he finally breaks the barriers of his sexuality.He is eighteen when he realizes he’s met the love of his life.At the end, maybe he will finally learn to love himself.
Relationships: Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 330





	To Be Enough

**Author's Note:**

> TW there is a non-graphic rape scene in this involving a minor, so be wary. It is also mentioned in other parts of the story.
> 
> Also there is a non graphic consensual sex scene involving minors.

Zuko has mixed feelings on men from various experience throughout his life. They’ve caused him pain, they’ve given him joy, but it has been such an imbalance between good and bad that it’s hard to fully trust. To allow himself to sink into the arms of another and allow himself the love that he’s struggled to believe he deserved. 

He is eleven when he realizes the true nature of his father’s cruelty. Ozai had always been critical of his eldest son, but as he got older and his younger daughter’s skills grew far beyond her sibling’s, he became much harsher. The worst part was that his mother was no longer there to protect him, or to encourage him when he failed. He only had his father’s belittling and Azula’s increasingly concerning level of sociopathy.

“Pathetic,” his father grumbled as he watched him perform his firebending exercises. 

Sweat dripped from his forehead and he was holding back tears. Again and again and again—

When he stopped, his father glared down at him. 

“Why are you stopping?” His low voice concealing his fury.

Zuko pushed his body to move again, but everything hurt. He was too tired to continue. 

He couldn’t help it. The tears he had been holding in finally rolled down his face. 

“I-I’m sorry father...I’m...”

Then his hand came, quick and sharp against his face.

Zuko held his stinging cheek.

He had never hit him before...before mom left.

He shut his eyes tight to prevent more tears from coming out. This infuriated his father.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you, insolent child!” He half-growled half-screamed at the child.

His eyes were open in a second, still watery and red. 

His father bent down to his level, and placed a warm hand on his cheek, the one he had just recently slapped.

It was almost comforting, almost loving, almost—

Now he was gripping his son’s face tightly, and Zuko barely suppressed a reaction.

“Never apologize Zuko. Just be better. Be good enough for me and I won’t need to punish you.” His voice was horrifically calm now, and a chill ran up his spine. 

He nodded in reply. Ozai removed the tight hand, only apathetically glancing down at his shaking son before turning and leaving Zuko by himself.

His father’s words echoed in his head over and over again.

All he had to do was be good enough for him, and then everything would be ok again.

He is fourteen when he has his first encounter with Captain Zhao post-Agni Kai. He had never liked the naval officer, but he had always tolerated him to a certain extent. The man had always made him feel uneasy, like he needed to constantly watch his every move when they were in the same space.

Now, the older man stared at his scar briefly, and he smiled.

That smile sent cold chills down his spine and everything inside him was screaming go go go get out of here—

But he didn’t know what to use for an excuse to leave, and his uncle was too busy on their boat playing pai sho to be here to help him out. 

He wasn’t listening much to what Zhao was saying, but then he invited the prince onto his boat, and he had no choice but to say yes. 

He was offered tea when he entered the room he had followed Zhao into, and he accepted, but did not drink it. If he had learned anything as a royal you never accept a drink from someone you have suspicions about. 

Zhao sat across from him, staring deeply at the prince before clearing his throat.

“I must say Prince Zuko, I’m impressed to see how much you’ve matured in the short time since you’ve been banished.”

The boy looked up at the man as he stood up, staring down at the prince, his eyes grazing him up and down.

“It’s amazing how fast you’ve grown into a...handsome young man.”

Another compliment, what was going on?

Zuko could have sworn he had blinked and Zhao was sitting next to him, too close.

He could feel the man’s warm breath on his burnt ear. 

“Tell me my prince, have you ever been with a man before?”

A too warm hand traced his scar, and Zuko flinched away, a look of terror and confusion plastered on his face. 

“What are you—“

The boy was cut off when the older man smashed his mouth onto his own. 

What the fuck what the fuck what the—

His mind was racing and his heart was pounding, and he didn’t know how to react to the bruising lips against his own. 

His hands found their way to Zhao’s chest, and he pushed against him. He couldn’t budge against the much stronger man. 

He needed to use fire to get him off, but he hadn’t firebent since he received his scar. It was too terrifying for him. Even now, his body was racked with so much fear that he couldn’t even imagine producing a single flame.

“Z-Zhao stop!” He finally managed to get that out, but it was ignored.

Hands. Hands were everywhere now, underneath his clothes, and tugging at them. Everything was moving way to fast. How was Zhao on top of him? How was he on a bed and not the floor?

Zuko resorted in his panic to trying to scratch the captain, but his nails weren’t quite sharp enough, and it only served to make Zhao angrier. 

“Stop fighting Prince Zuko, or I’ll make this very unpleasant,” Zhao growled at the struggling teen.

A vaguely hot hand pressed against his thigh and he panicked as it increased in temperature.

The older man leaned down and whispered.

“I wouldn’t want to burn any more of this lovely skin, so stay put.”

His whole body froze up, as if the fight was snatched right from it.

This couldn’t be happening to him. Not with Zhao. This couldn’t be his first time—

He transported to the beach, and the waves were crashing against the shore and his sister was laughing and the mist of the sea was salty against his skin. He wasn’t here right now, with an all too heavy, grunting man on top of him. He wasn’t fully connected to his body, but he could feel the pain of what Zhao was doing. There was so much pain.

“Good boy Prince Zuko,” he purred into his ear before continuing his assault.

When he was done, Zuko fixed his clothing hastily with shaky hands, barely holding in tears when he heard Zhao chuckle.

“You were pretty good for your first time.”

Zuko ignored him and bolted out the room, practically running off of the older man’s ship. He needed to get back to his smaller boat and curl up and cry and scream and take a fucking shower. 

He couldn’t possibly tell anyone—no no they already thought he was weak enough. It was his own fault for not being strong enough to fight Zhao off. 

He would simply add this to the long lists of dishonors he had placed himself into—he just needed to be better—to be stronger—and maybe he could fix things.

But for now, sobbing by himself would have to do.

He is sixteen when he finally breaks the barriers of his sexuality. 

Jet was attractive, well aside from his strange eyebrows and the piece of barley hanging out of his mouth. But he had beautifully tan skin and shaggy hair that looked soft to the touch. And he smelled like freedom. 

Zuko didn’t interact with teens his age—hell he’d lived on a boat with men twice his age for the past three years—so it was strange at first having normal, casual conversation with someone his age. 

They sat on the roof of the boat, looking up at the stars, and Jet leaned forward.

“Lee?”

He turned to look into Jet’s brown eyes, and he noticed he was smiling. It wasn’t a cruel or mischievous smile like he usually had, but a soft one.

“Yeah?” Zuko finally replied. 

“I really like you.”

Zuko blushed. No one had ever said that to him. Well he remembered Mai saying that to him as a thirteen year-old, but he hadn’t felt anything when she said it, because she was a girl. Because he knew he didn’t like girls like that but he most certainly could not admit it, if he wanted to be an even more dishonorable prince to his nation. 

But he wasn’t Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. He was Lee, the refugee.

“I like you too,” he replied simply.

Jet glanced at his lips, and Zuko felt himself instinctively lean forward. He didn’t know what he was doing. This was wrong, h-he couldn’t—

His lips are against Jet’s now, and he isn’t sure if it was him or Jet that made the first move. They’re soft and warm and so much different from Zhao’s—

And he melts into the kiss, deepening it. He needed this. He needed to feel intimacy like this and actually want it. He wasn’t going to have it forced onto him. Suddenly it didn’t feel so wrong anymore. It felt right, and Zuko had never felt more alive in all his life. 

Hands are in his hair, and Zuko can’t help but run his through Jet’s hair, and it is soft like he thought it would be.

Jet’s hand make their way down his back, and almost instinctively, he freezes up, and he is fourteen and Zhao is—

He pushes himself harder against Jet, to force himself back into reality. He kisses Jet harder, to feel something good from all of this. To forget what was forced upon him when he was hardly a teenager. He wanted Jet to touch him—to replace violating, cruel hands, and he wanted to fuck him, so he wouldn’t still feel Zhao thrusting inside him when he would be trying to sleep at night. 

So he lets Jet on top of him, and he lets him take off his clothes and he lets his lips and hands touch his body. He freezes a few more times, but he continues to press against the boy on top of him to return to the present. He moans when Jet enters him, and he grasps onto his shoulders. It wasn’t pain this time around, it felt good.

So that’s why when Jet burst into their tea shop, swords drawn, it hurt. Jet hated him now, and he truly could not blame him. He just wished for once he could be good enough, so maybe, for once, someone wouldn’t hate him. Maybe someone would actually care.

For now however, any man or boy he had encountered outside of his uncle seemed to want to hurt him, and he was the only common factor. 

He was the problem.

He is eighteen when he realizes he’s met the love of his life. As fire lord, it almost seems like there is no time for love in his life, but Sokka is what keeps him going on the hardest days. He’s who he looks forward to seeing at the end of the day, and the one that holds him when he has a nightmare. He is the one that has helped him to heal—to mend the scars deep inside of him.

He is sitting on his bed with its blood red sheets, watching Sokka take out his hair and comb through it. It is peaceful: Zuko feels at peace for once.

He turns around at the firebender.

“What?” He says with a smile on his face.

Zuko holds out his hand, and Sokka takes it, sitting down on the side of the bed.

“Nothing,” he replies, “you’re beautiful, that’s all.”

Sokka blushes at the compliment, then kisses him on the cheek.

He stares deeply at the firelord for a few moments.

“I love you.”

It is simple. Three words. Three words that crawl into his heart and melt it from the inside. Three words that he never realized until now how much he craved them. 

Sokka runs a hand through his silky dark hair, and Zuko feels like his whole heart is about to burst.

He kisses Sokka with a passion of a thousand sons, and tears form in his eyes as he finally pulls away.

He leans his forehead against his, his gleaming gold eyes meeting the sky blue ones in front of him.

“I love you too,” he half-whispers half-sobs.

And Sokka holds him for the rest of the night, and Zuko has never felt more complete and safe in all his life. 

Sokka loves him, he loves him for him and that’s all that matters. He is enough for Sokka.

He is enough for himself.


End file.
